So this is what it's came down too...

The Bruins sit atop the League's Western Division (where they rightfully belong) but find themselves in a predicament of sorts. The teams offense has slowed down quite a bit. Thanks to their in general timely hitting, and 6th ranked team-OBP they somehow by the grace of god find themselves smack dab in the middle, 7th in runs scored.

But the smoke and mirrors isn't pretty.

Team Batting Stats & Rankings
Batting Average	.258 - 12th in NL
On-Base Percentage	.343 - 6th in NL
Slugging Percentage	.416 - 12th in NL
On-Base + Slugging	.759 - 8th in NL
Runs Scored	279 - tied for 7th in NL
Hits	509 - 13th in NL
Extra-Base Hits	185 - 9th in NL
Home Runs	58 - 10th in NL
Bases-On-Balls	256 - 3rd in NL
Strikeouts	391 - 4th in NL
Stolen Bases	23 - 10th in NL

The teams projected #3 and #4 hitters coming into the season haven't been great to be kind.

David Pena last year in his first full season in LA hit 284/366/487 while hitting 34 homers and driving in 89. David just turned 29 and is entering the prime of his career but he somehow he hasn't been able to get back to a relevant position on the field, and has 3 errors already this season playing the field every day.

Julio Ortega is another story, coming over from Indianapolis one year removed from his MVP Campaign - last year 281/379/533 with 27hrs 94rbis and 71bb and this year he's on pace for a similar season with massive drops in average and runs batted in.The Bruins need Ortega with Pena to step up and capitlize with all these guys on base. We have to be near last in scoring with runners in scoring position and guys left on base.

The run scoring issues, long noted to be a problem of the teams park not neccessiarly the teams stadium will be addressed next yea as the Bruins can confirm a new stadium will be built in the current one's place using magic. It'll be ready for the 2015 season. WIth a good staff, and good bullpen the Bruins except the runs scored to go up, and the runs allowed to tick up a smidge as well.

Trades are obviously out there, things can obviously be done - but the Bruins are taking a wait and see approach after a rumored deal could not be finalized in the early hours this morning.

The Bruins currently lead the division a .5 game.

Bill & Ricky's: Bean This!

A clip is shown with laughter creeping through…

 

“And the pitch from Bill Maddox… … … And Diiiirty Hernandez is beaned right in the side of the face. Ohhhhh, doctor. He’s seeing dollar signs above his head.  I think Dirty Hernandez is UNCONCIOUS on the ground. OHHHH ME OH MY! “

 

The tape is rewound.

 

“And the pitch from Bill Maddox… … … And Diiiirty Hernandez is beaned right in the side of the face. Ohhhhh, doctor. He’s seeing dollar signs above his head.  I think Dirty Hernandez is UNCONCIOUS on the ground. OHHHH ME OH MY! “

 

The tape is rewound again…

 

“And the pitch from Bill Maddox… … … And Diiiirty Hernandez is beaned right in the side of the face. Ohhhhh, doctor. He’s seeing dollar signs above his head.  I think Dirty Hernandez is UNCONCIOUS on the ground. OHHHH ME OH MY! “

 

The tape is rewound again…

 

And again…

 

And again...

 

“ Bill Maddox, you should be ashamed of yourself. You fucking Headhunter! “

 

Laughter can now be heard as we see New Orleans SP Bill Maddox, and Los Angeles SP Ricky Bolden.

 

- - - - - - - - - -  

 

Bill & Ricky in: Bean This!

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

“ See. Look into the eyes of Dirty. “ says Bill

 

The footage is shown zoomed out with his eyes rolling into the back of his head, immediately falling down the ground.

“ I see what you mean. “ says Ricky smirking.

 

“ Out like a baby. “ ends Bill.

 

The footage keeps playing showing the benches of the Hitmen and Looters stiring before the footage is cut off leaving us the lasting image of the infamous Maddox smirk.

 

“ See. My problem is you only went for the hand. “ says Bill, “ Harle’s head with a good few feet above that. “

 

“ Julian was a teammate, Bill. “ says Ricky. “ I broke his wrist because that douche sext’d my ex-girlfriend“

 

“ Hmpf “ a pause, “ And yet you laughed at Dirty? “ asks Bill

 

“ Well yeah. Fuck H’Ville. “ says a laughing Ricky, “ I mean. Come on. “

 

The TV finally breaks out of the DVD screen and flickers back to ESPN where a scroll begins to drag across the television.

 

[ BREAKING BSA NEWS: Jeff Cole has just been traded from the Los Cabos Cartel, to the Hendersonville Hitmen. Rumors are flying that the BSA Offices are thinking about pitting the Hitmen versus the Other League’s All-Star team for the Mid-Summer Classic… more details at 11…]

 

“ You see. Now that’s a guy I’d rock. That mustache. So fucking pretentious. “ says Ricky. “ Plus he’s a gay. “

 

“ How do you know such things… “ asks Bill

 

“ His mustache. “ says Rick

 

“ Fair enough. “ ended.

 

They show clips of Jeff Cole leaving Cabos with his head down in sorrow, and arriving to Hendersonville’s outskirts (sign reading: “H’Ville. We got 100 people who can read! “ )

 

“ Shitty deal. Leaving Cabos for H’Ville. “ says Bill. Ricky shaking his head in agreeance. “ I mean. It’s H’Ville. “

 

“ Ha! Everyone thinks the league’s pissed about him going to be the best team in the league, but really, it’s just because GM Hays is a total douche. “

 

“ My mood has soured, wanted to watch Dirty get hit in the head a few more times? “ asks Bill

 

“ Yes. “

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

“And the pitch from Bill Maddox… … … And Diiiirty Hernandez is beaned right in the side of the face. Ohhhhh, doctor. He’s seeing dollar signs above his head.  I think Dirty Hernandez is UNCONCIOUS on the ground. OHHHH ME OH MY! “

 

- - - - - - - - - -

Bill Maddox and Ricky Bolden are scheduled to face off in Game 2 of the New Orleans – Los Angeles series starting this Thursday (sim) night.

Another one bites the dust...

Los Angeles, CA - Star reliever Ghidewon Hassan who came over in the infamous Sammmmmmy Sagar deal is now joining his set-up buddy Domingo Ruiz on the DL, putting him out of the entire season as well.

Ghidewon has never been hurt, never even had a hint of being hurt before being hurt three times in spring with the final blow to the head coming against the New York Knights.

Last year, Mr. Hassan went 3-1 with 6 saves and a 1.16 in 62.1 innings pitched striking out 71 all the while sporting a cool 1.07 whip. This year, Mr. Hassan in 11 innings for the Bruins this year was 1-0 with a 1.64 era, striking out 8 with a 1.18 whip.

His production continued to prove elite, and the Bruins will definately miss him as much if not more than Domingo this year.

This leaves the Bruins in a predicament. Having lost two of the best three arms out of the pen - Brad Anderson echoed GM Brouillette's comments by stating the team will "Give Manny, and Phillip" more work before exhausting trade options.

Jose Murillo is primed to take on a bigger role, but manager Brand Anderson has been quoted numerous times as being a huge fan of Jose in the middle reliever spot due to his stamina (laddddiiiiieessss!!!!).

With the recent free agent addition of SP Donovan Lean, the Bruins hope he can lighten the load towards the back-end of the pen and with the Bruins starters notorious for going deep into games, the team feels they can cover for Hassan (and Ruiz) - if all goes their way.

Obviously not having elite bullpen options will hurt as the season winds down but the team can only help they can continue to play in the 'everyone always hurt' BSA.

Now to try and replace Peter Larson... *Heavy Sigh*

Jesus Moran loves Dwayne Johnson...

Los Angeles, CA

3:01 AM, late evening after the Bruins beat Cleveland in Game 1

- - - - - - - - - -

Loud laughter can be heard through-out the locker room as Bruins SP Jesus Moran is being prodded at as Ricky Bolden and Declan Parsons toss a DVD over his head back and forth.

“ Where did you find this Declan” asks Ricky laughing.

“ Where else. Phillip, he just left the clubhouse a while ago. Can’t believe their brothers…. “ says Declan

“ Different fathers. “ adds Jesus, “ Obviously. “

“ Obviously. “ adds Ricky

“ Anyways, this is going to  be hilarious, “ says Declan smirking.

“ The only thing hilarious is your ERA “ says Jesus, which prompts Ricky to fall down to his knees laughing.

“ Hey compadre, we are all on the same team here. “ insists Declan as his smile is now a frown. “ Give me some slack, my career ERA is like 3.20 INCLUDING my two full years in the non-friendly confounds of San Fran. “ he pauses, “ God, I’m glad I’m where the fake boobs are inside of the fake “

“ Wooooah, “ says Ricky, “ Family show. “ he says fighting back laughter,

“ Right. “

Declan plants the DVD into the player and they all begin to watch …

- - - - - - - - - -

The camera flickers on and begins to pan what appears to be arena, screaming children – teenagers and grown men alike begin to count in together.

1.

2.

3.

The bell sounds a few times as the man who was laying on top of the other man stands up slowly raising his hands and cocking his head to the side with the raise of an eyebrow.

“ Your winner, … and STILL,… WWF Champion,… theeeeeeeeeee ROCK! “

The fans go crazy as his opponent (lets say, HHH) is rolled out of the ring and the fans begin a ‘Rocky’ chant as he is handed his title and begins to play to the fans.

The Rock is handed a microphone as he looks out to his millions (and millions) of fans and begins to speak.

“ Tonight, the Rock did what he said he was going to do. He went out, fought the man with the biggest nose in the business and througholy laid the Smackdown on his candy ass ! “

The fans erupt into laughter as he continues,…

“ Tonight, the Rock has a special moment for one of you! “ the place erupts.

The Rock spots little Jesus Moran in the crowd,  given it’s 1999 Jesus is about eight or nine years old.

“ My man in my shirt, get over here. Get up here! “

The fans cheer as Jesus jumps the railing and walks up the stairs waiving with the crowd waiving him on.

“ What is your name kid? “ asks The Rock

“ Jesus, “ he pasuses, “ Jesus Moran. “ another Moran, his older brother (and Bruins middle-reliever from another father, given as he grew up in the states – as indicated by his player page which ties all this together) … looks on smiling.

“ Well young Jesus, how would you like to hold and wear my WWF Championship belt. “

A huge grin grows and the fans begin to chant Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. The child raises his hands high into the air and jumps up and down before going for the belt and grabbing the Rocks muscles on accident which leads to laughter from the fans.

“ Now stay still Jesus. “

The Rock moves around and stands from behind placing the title belt on the waist on young Jesus and the crowd cheers. The Rock smirks and walks around then looks at the belt but can’t help but notice …

“ Is that an erection!? “ asks The Rock as the crowd eats it up.

The camera briefly catches the erection which Declan has now paused allowing them to both fully take it in.

- - - - - - - - - -

“ What the?! “ asks Ricky

“ I told you. “ says Declan, smirking before hitting play again (Jesus looks irritated, but not upset).


- - - - - - - - - -

“ Does the Rock, EXCITE YOU, Jesus?! “ asks the Rock as the fans go nuts. “

“ I suppose so?! “ asks Jesus confused, “ This is my first … “

“ IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! “ (Huh, oh well,)

The Rock smirks and grabs his belt back laughing.

“ Get this little erection out of my ring, because the Champion has some celebrating! “ The Rock motions towards the crowd again looking for other fans as the camera finishes on Jesus and the footage stops

- - - - - - - - - -

“ Everything I expected and more. “ says Ricky pinching his tears off his face.

“ Told you. “ says Phillip, walking from the back, “ The kid looooves the Rock. “

“ That may be, “ adds Declan, “ But atleast your brother can laugh at himself. “ adds Declan tossing the DVD to Jesus.

“ Plus, he makes about 10 million more per year than you, “ says Ricky which causes Jesus to join in on the laughter now with him and Declan.

Phillip has no response.

The Rivalry resumed ...

.... and no, I'm not talking about the Los Angeles Bruins final game versus the Niagara Falls Frenzy, who send former Bruins ace - Ethan Pickup, who while his team (last year, ELP) went 3-13 versus the Bruins - Ethan had two wins in three starts and allowed just four runs over twenty two innings.

That game is up next, but the series on the horizon is that of the World Series Champs. The Hitmen.

The history between the two has been well documented. The rundown features H'Ville holding a 21-14 record versus the Bruins during the regular season, and the Bruins holding a 7-5 record versus the Hitmen during the post-season. H'Ville however won the World Series in 2010 after beating the Bruins in the LCS/7 Games. The Bruins returned the favor in 2012 taking down a oft-injured Hitmen lineup, but scoring over 7 runs per game themselves after they averaged only 4 per game during the regular season.

" This one is going be tough, Scott Hill is injured " joked manager Brad Anderson, alluding to the Bruins 5-1 record versus Scott Hill the last six times the teams have met with Hill getting the loss in 4 of the 5.

" Obviously though, " continued Brad,  " I think we scored 10 runs or something over those six games. We've shut  him out a few times. Scott's the best pitcher in our league. Theirs no secret to that. "

... but don't tell that to Ricky Bolden.

Bolden who had two of the Bruins three wins versus the Hitmen last season, and a pair in the 2012 playoffs knows what you need to do.

" Their pitching is as good, if not better than ours 1-12 " he pushed on, " I'll need to go out on Thursday and be ready to pitch another Hollywood-esque game. I've been solid so far but it must continue. "

The two teams are said to be expecting the 58th sellout in their 58th meeting.

But in all fairness, the hype machine is at an all-time high this year as the Hitmen have jumped out to a crazy start again.

The Bruins will send Salazar, Bolden and opening day starter Parsons to the mound to face the Hitmens trio of elite lefties in Bamber, Burgess and Haward.

It should be as usual between the two teams, must see television.